The first paragraph almost caused me to fall out of my chair.  I mean, I knew that, but I didn’t know anyone else knew that.

This one, a mishmash of sentences as they occurred to the writer (me):

Early morning light crept across the dirt floor.  When would they come for him? What monstrous hour would be his time? Steve watched a spider build its web between the two metal bars of his cot. He noted the beads of dew on the web without really seeing them, without seeing the spider or its red belly, without caring about a potential bite from its venomous fangs.  Down the hall, keys rattled on a heavy chain, a door clanked and a prisoner whined something unintelligible.  Somewhere, within the compound but farther away, two other men laughed.  It was not the sound of two men sharing a joke.  Steve squatted on the ground, pulling his legs up until even his toes were covered by the darkness.

Or this one, re-written in a MRU: 

Early morning light crept across the dirt floor.  The smell of cabbage, held captive by the heat, permeated the air.  Down the hall, keys rattled on a heavy chain, a door clanked, and a prisoner whined something unintelligible.  Somewhere, within the compound but farther away, two other men laughed.  It was not the sound of two men sharing a joke.

Steve squatted on the ground, pulling his legs up until even his toes were covered by the darkness.   He watched a spider build its web between the two metal bars of his cot. He noted the beads of dew on the web without really seeing them, without seeing the spider or its red belly, without caring about a potential bite from its venomous fangs.

When would the guards come for him? What monstrous hour would be his time?

***

The sentences are the same.  The information is the same, but which one reads better???  Does it have anything to do with arrangement???  Can arrangement make all the difference???  Is the sequence in the second one better???  Let’s take the second one again and examine why it sounded better. 

{ACTION} Early morning light crept across the dirt floor.  The smell of cabbage, held captive by the heat, permeated the air.  Down the hall, keys rattled on a heavy chain, a door clanked, and a prisoner whined something unintelligible.  Somewhere, within the compound but farther away, two other men laughed.  It was not the sound of two men sharing a joke.  {END OF ACTION}

{REACTION} Steve squatted on the ground, pulling his legs up until even his toes were covered by the darkness.   He watched a spider build its web between the two metal bars of his cot. He noted the beads of dew on the web without really seeing them, without seeing the spider or its red belly, without caring about a potential bite from its venomous fangs.   {END OF REACTION}

{INTERNALIZATION} When would the guards come for him? What monstrous hour would be his time? 

Makes me want to run down to the store and buy a set of encyclopedias.  Of course, encyclopedias are like automobiles.  As soon as you cross over the curb, they’re not worth as much as you paid for them.

It also makes me  think about government control.  For all the officials bemoaning of short funds and national debt, there seems to be no shortage or end-in-sight to the government’s ability to set-up new agencies and lockdowns on information.  (You don’t think they can monitor these new rules without spending a zillion dollars, do you?)

Are we approaching a time when what we KNOW is only what ‘they’ want us to KNOW???  Is the Internet the last vestige of secret knowledge for those who can ferret it out?   Are they putting a public relations spin on what they’re doing?  Is a copyright more important that 4th Amendment?

The government has its nose in too many things.  Don’t you agree?  Instead of the government stepping on us, we should be stepping on them.  Of course, this is the historical path of all governments.  Eliminating more and more freedoms, until the whole system is torn down.

Am I making too much out of a little thing???  Maybe.  But it looks like a bad omen to me.  And what’s up with the lack of coverage on the news?  It almost like the word has gone out:  Don’t mention it and maybe no one will notice.  Excuse me, but in my world, Wikipedia is more important than O.J.

Writing often calls for research.  All you writers out there should be paying attention.

The greatest mistake writers make with a computer’s dictionary and grammar check is assuming the machine is always right and they are always wrong–including me.  Most often this involves the spellchecker. The greatest mistake that I ever made was typing the word ‘nipple’ when I meant ‘nibble.’  Whop-Do-Whop!  The computer did not disagree.   Boy, was my face red.

***

Next, comes the watery-eyed laughs from poetry.  I don’t know a lot about poetry, but I know that it is written with the same punctuation as any other writing.  Let’s take this blip:

There once was a man fromNantucket

who–   Oh, no.  No, no.  You’ve heard all those before.

***

There once was a man named Jack

who carried a mule on his back,

and that’s a fact.

Not like this:

There once was a man named Jack

Who carried a mule on his back,

And that’s a fact.

So, if you wrote the sentence without putting it in poetry form it would look like this:  There once was a man named Jack who carried a mule on his back, and that’s a fact. (See the punctuation is the same, whether it’s poetry or regular writing.  Yet a word processor will disagree, and you’ll have to go back and change all those capitals.)

It would NOT be punctuated like this:  There once was a man named Jack Who carried a mule on his back, And that’s a fact. (See how funny that looks?)

 ***

Another one that bothers me is the abrupt end to a piece of dialogue or an interrupted thought.  The word processor insists on this:

“Don’t open that–.”

When it should be without the period:

“Don’t open that–” 

All the computer will give you is this:

“Don’t open that–“  A backward quote at the end.  Ugh, that’s worse. 

So, you have to put the period in the first time you write it, and go back later to take the period out.

Author’s Note:  I don’t mean to sound like a snot, laughing at other people’s mistakes.  We’ve all made mistakes and we’ll make some more.  That’s life.  But if we can’t share and laugh about it, then what’s the point of blogging???

You know you’re living in the 21st Century when:   

16.  You don’t worry about Date Night; you worry about hooking-up after your get to the club.

17.  You have no idea who’s living next door, until the state sends you a Sex Pervert Alert.

18.  You haven’t written a check since the last time you paid property tax.

19.  You have 3 trashcans:  one for garbage and two for recyclables.

20.  You’re online server sent you a warning about exceeding 150 megabytes.  Watching Netflix has caused your online server to penalize you for exceeding 150 GBs.  You will be charged and extra $10 for ever 50 GBs after.  You are now in the top 2% of online hogs.

21.  You suddenly realize YouTube is more entertaining than TV.

22.  You think anyone who is under 75 and still can’t operate a computer is an illiterate dumb wad.

23.  You’ve got more friends–that you don’t know–on Facebook than you do in real life.

24.  Your cat has an automatic litter box, and your dog’s name is a password.

25.  Gasoline is higher than your car payments.

I challenge everyone to write 5 more.  :)  Sideways smile/ Number 11. 

There’s an old southern saying.  ’Whatever you find yourself doing on New Year’s Day, you’re bound to repeat all year long.’  So find yourself something fun to do today………cm

The second example gives a clear impression of the writer’s personality.  And it is written in such a way that it almost challenges the reader to respond.  Who, after all, wants to read something that doesn’t have some zing to it?  And what is better for a writer than getting a rile out of the reader?

Example two also lists some points and/or examples (valid or invalid) that back-up an opinion. It is not written in generalities, even though the opinion itself might be considered a sweeping condemnation.  Get it???  Good writing is all about the details.

Also, the use of humor when expressing a negative or unpopular opinion helps propel the argument and dispel the reader’s outright rejection of a different point of view.

Note the different titles given to each one.

***

Example One:

I Hate Shopping 

I don’t have anything to wear.  My closet is completely empty, but I really hate to shop for clothes.  The color, material and craftsmanship that’s being offered to the female consumer is an insult to my intelligence.   Designers don’t know what people want to buy, and they’re really pulling a fast-one on women….blah, blah, blah….(Ugh, it’s so awful that I can’t go on…)

 ***

Example Two:

Not Being Naked

Ordinarily, I’m not given over to girly discussion about pretty duds, but I’ve got to tell you that the state of closet is reaching critical depletion.  For the first time in my life, I actually have more hangers than I do clothes.  It has been years since I found a shop with more blouses that I wanted to purchase than money I had to spend on them.

I will admit to being a reluctant and impatient shopper, but I do try. Bravely, try to shop.  Honestly.  Each time I go, I start out with high hopes of finding something that I’ll really love.  But I have some serious issues with the merchandise, and I’ve had these issues for many a year:

Color:  Whenever I enter a dress shop, I’m immediately struck blind by the gaudy colors.  I’m not a dowager or a wallflower or a hag.  I don’t go around in beige, muttering to myself, but I’m not interested in glowing in the dark either.

Will I give up my green dollars for a lime shirt?  Mmmm, no.  Well, maybe.  Does that come with tequila?  How about hot pink?  Well, only if I get a job as a cross-walk guard. Gothic black?  No, I don’t fly with that coven, either.

Material:  The quality of material used to make women’s clothing these days is shockingly poor: Scratchy, itchy, synthetic and thin to the point that a female must buy two shirts and layer them to keep the state of her undies a secret from the general public.    

Craftsmanship:  Buttons threads stretched big enough to hang my cell phone on, crotches unraveling at the first good sit-down and pockets so shallow that they aren’t deep enough to securely hold a single American dollar, much less a good place to stash a credit card.  Women’s clothing should come with a two-wear expiration clause, not a two year termination.

Style:  Dress shops have only two sections.  There’s the slut spot, also known as The Junior Department, and grandma’s heirlooms, also known as The Women’s Department. I never really cared for the slut look; I’ve always preferred for my status in this area to be a mystery, at least, for a time.  I’m not quite ready for the grandma look, and I’m not likely to find anything in my size there, either.

Goofiness:  Is it really stylish for a grown woman to wear bows, ribbons, and lace?  Aren’t prints with hearts, angels and puppies a little silly after the age of two?  And just how old does someone have to get before manufacturers realize that a real woman wouldn’t be caught dead with a cartoon character on her chest?

Length:  This one really frustrates me.

• Jeans:  How in the hell can designers screw-up blue jeans?  Who invented those low-cut jeans, anyway?  A person would have to be a complete skeleton to not have a gut in low-cut jeans.
• Shorts:  One year the shorts leave your cheeks hanging out; the next year you can’t find anything except knee grippers.
• Shirts:  That top button keeps getting lower and lower every year.  By 2012 that top button will be all the way down to my navel.
• Sweaters:  As if I need one, but really, sweaters are just plain weird looking.
• Dresses:  We’re back to slut shop, grandma’s heirlooms, the occasional gypsies swirl and the ridiculous but unforgettable  whatever-happen-to-baby-jane look.

So, come on, girls.  Tell me the truth.  When you shop for clothes, don’t you settle for something less than what you wanted?  Don’t you halfhearted make your purchases?  Doesn’t part of you hope that it will look better after you get it home and add some accessories?  In fact, when was the last time you bought an article of clothing that didn’t need something extra?  Aren’t you regularly disappointed? 

If not….then tell me where you shop!!! 

 *** 

Author’s Note:  Do you see what I’m saying about generalities.  Broad, unsubstantiated statements are dull and easily dismissed.  Good writing is all about the details.  Here’s another example:  Your child comes home one day and says, I hate school.’  He won’t tell you anything else.

Naturally, you’re concerned about your kid, but this general statement only frustrates you.  Imagine  your reaction to a general statement when you are not emotionally involved with the speaker.  Click, click, click.

More trouble in the Middle East  .  .  .  Stock Market goes up and down  .  .  .   Congress can’t agree  .  .  .   Climate warming continues  .  .  .  Athlete fails drug test  .  .  .   Movie star makes a fool of himself   .  .  . Investors loose their shirts and pants on Ponzi scheme  .  .  .  Food prices dig deeper into the consumer pocket    .  .  .  Euro in deep shit  .  .  .  Company issues recall of product  .  .  .  Bookstore closes  .  .  .  Cell phone store opens  .  .  .  U.S. borrows more money from China  .  .  .  China needs U.S. to consume imported items  .  .  .    Rich get richer  .  .  .  Poor get poorer  .  .  .  Housing market slumps  .  .  .  Crazy dude kills family  .  .  .  Homeless need homes  .  .   .  Senator has girlfriend; wife shocked but supportive  .  .  .  Dog alerts family to fire  .  .  .  Store stick-up  .  .   .  Thieves steal copper  .  .  .  Americans are too fat  .  .  .  Teens can’t read, write, or multiply .  .  .  Fast food is bad  .  .  .  Smoking will kill ‘ya  .  .  .  Doctor accused of Medicare fraud  .  .  .  Divorce rate highest ever in history  .  .  .  Gas rates expect to rise during the holidays  .  .  .  Population down in developed countries by micro points and up in undeveloped countries  .  .  .  New driver runs off road  .  .  .  Trucker falls asleep at wheel  .  .  .  Airplanes are falling apart  .  .  .  Feds cut interest rate  .  .  .  Bank closes  .  .  .  Iraq wants U.S. troops to stay  .  .  .  Iraq wants U.S. troops out  .  .  .   Egypt doesn’t know what it wants  .  .  .  Everyone is afraid of Korea and Iran  .  .  .  Small businessman can’t sell as cheap as Wally World  .  .  .  Large scale farming is unsustainable, but home gardeners are still dorky  .  .  .   Someone semi-important said something nasty about someone very important; apology in the mail  .  .  .  Citizens wonder if freedom of the press means truth in the press  .  .  .  Electricity bill to increase by 3 percent  .  .  .  Postage stamps going up  .  .  .  Company downsizing employees; remaining workers to work twice as hard  .  .  .

And on the very, very local news:  My puppy peed on the floor.  What a surprise!!!

Wait! I want'a check my Blog one more time.

At the beginning of last week or maybe even before that, a strange shadow crossed over my psyche.  Call it Blogging Malaise.  I had a couple of posts started but said, ‘Oh, never mind, I’ll just read.’

Many people try to analyze their moods, but I just ride them out.  I mean, ha-hum, I am an artist and woman, so who wants to wade into that quagmire???  Everything passes eventually.

But then I noticed that my friends were not blogging very much either, except for the ones that had sworn themselves to some kind of schedule.  Even the professional blogs seem to be dishing out yesterday’s hash.  Have I been touched by some collective unconscious???  Do moods circle the planet???  Has anyone else felt this?  Or do I have my toes on the edge of the diving board again???  You can tell me if I’m crazy.

It’s funny sometimes.  One day I’ll be so eager to express myself that I can hardly wait for a decent edit.  Other days, the idea of moving a document from one computer to another seems like a loathsome chore.

…He adds: “If the bookshop lets you have both and has a product every bit as good as the Amazon one, why wouldn’t you do it with a bookshop?”

Daunt makes no bones about his dislike of Amazon. “They never struck me as being a sort of business in the consumer’s interest. They’re a ruthless, money-making devil.” He dreads the physical bookshop disappearing altogether in the digital tsunami.

“The computer screen is a terrible environment in which to select books. All that ‘If you read this, you’ll like that’ – it’s a dismal way to recommend books. A physical bookshop in which you browse, see, hold, touch and feel books is the environment you want.”

As to the books-industry Cassandras who predict that publishers, agents and booksellers may all disappear in the next five years, “I wouldn’t bet against publishers,” he said. “The editorial process and the marketing – someone has to do it. I don’t think agents are the best people to do it.  Authors certainly aren’t – they need editing. I think either all three will survive or they’ll all disappear, swept away, replaced by one big fat Amazon, getting his way. And if the bookshops go, they will never come back.” His combative eyes glitter.

“So I have a responsibility.”

James Daunt: The CV 

***

ME:  I’ve got to admit that Mr. Daunt makes some good points.  There’s no denying that trying to write, edit, publish and market is too much for one person.  On the other hand–those publishing gates seem to be locked tight.

If the big boy publishers jump into the digital market, I think they’re going to have to expand their selections.  Most publishers only put out a certain genre by a few select writers.  I can’t really see them taking away from Amazon unless they broaden their horizons.

Maybe they could break into genres.  Say, one online spot being the place to go for romance, another being the place to go for sci-fi.

And they’ll have to offer lower prices than Amazon.  Personally, I think it’s outrageous to ask $10.00 for a digital book.  I mean, what’s the overhead on a digital book?  Granted, marketing will add to the price, but it’s still got to be cheaper than a dead tree book.  Right?

What do you think will happen???  I can’t think that it will help the Indie author one bit.

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