Men age 18 through 25 must register with the Selective Service System.
Question: What is Selective Service Registration?
Answer: Registration is a human bondage program that does not involve leather whips, furry handcuffs, or jello.
Question: Will I be drafted?
Answer: Only in the event of World War III, in which case you will want to join just for the free M16 and pea soup.
Question: What happens if I don’t register?
Answer: We’ll get you. We have spies everywhere. We have spies watching spies.
Question: What are the benefits?
Answer: Um. Er. Well, I don’t know.
Question: How do I register?
Answer: Take a picture of yourself in a pink tutu, attach it to this card with all your personal information, and post it in the mail. (Government is not responsible for any ensuing identity theft.)
Question: What happens after I register?
Answer: Watch your mail. The government will send you some bail out money and KP cookies.