Every Writer’s Nightmare

“Better Him Than Me”

Want to read about every writer’s worse nightmare?  Check-out the reviews on Huff Post for The Worst Book Ever.  Self-published, of course.  This guy must be hiding under his bed, changing his name and closing all his accounts by now.   In a way, I feel sorry for him.  In a way, I don’t.   BTW:  Haven’t I seen his name on Smashwords?

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Living in the 21st Century, Part Two

Pinging off the Smile Every Day blog by Imrod

You know you’re living in the 21st Century when:   

16.  You don’t worry about Date Night; you worry about hooking-up after your get to the club.

17.  You have no idea who’s living next door, until the state sends you a Sex Pervert Alert.

18.  You haven’t written a check since the last time you paid property tax.

19.  You have 3 trashcans:  one for garbage and two for recyclables.

20.  You’re online server sent you a warning about exceeding 150 megabytes.  Watching Netflix has caused your online server to penalize you for exceeding 150 GBs.  You will be charged and extra $10 for ever 50 GBs after.  You are now in the top 2% of online hogs.

21.  You suddenly realize YouTube is more entertaining than TV.

22.  You think anyone who is under 75 and still can’t operate a computer is an illiterate dumb wad.

23.  You’ve got more friends–that you don’t know–on Facebook than you do in real life.

24.  Your cat has an automatic litter box, and your dog’s name is a password.

25.  Gasoline is higher than your car payments.

I challenge everyone to write 5 more.  🙂  Sideways smile/ Number 11. 

News Flash

Let me save you the trouble of reading the news today.  Or any day for that matter:

More trouble in the Middle East  .  .  .  Stock Market goes up and down  .  .  .   Congress can’t agree  .  .  .   Climate warming continues  .  .  .  Athlete fails drug test  .  .  .   Movie star makes a fool of himself   .  .  . Investors loose their shirts and pants on Ponzi scheme  .  .  .  Food prices dig deeper into the consumer pocket    .  .  .  Euro in deep shit  .  .  .  Company issues recall of product  .  .  .  Bookstore closes  .  .  .  Cell phone store opens  .  .  .  U.S. borrows more money from China  .  .  .  China needs U.S. to consume imported items  .  .  .    Rich get richer  .  .  .  Poor get poorer  .  .  .  Housing market slumps  .  .  .  Crazy dude kills family  .  .  .  Homeless need homes  .  .   .  Senator has girlfriend; wife shocked but supportive  .  .  .  Dog alerts family to fire  .  .  .  Store stick-up  .  .   .  Thieves steal copper  .  .  .  Americans are too fat  .  .  .  Teens can’t read, write, or multiply .  .  .  Fast food is bad  .  .  .  Smoking will kill ‘ya  .  .  .  Doctor accused of Medicare fraud  .  .  .  Divorce rate highest ever in history  .  .  .  Gas rates expect to rise during the holidays  .  .  .  Population down in developed countries by micro points and up in undeveloped countries  .  .  .  New driver runs off road  .  .  .  Trucker falls asleep at wheel  .  .  .  Airplanes are falling apart  .  .  .  Feds cut interest rate  .  .  .  Bank closes  .  .  .  Iraq wants U.S. troops to stay  .  .  .  Iraq wants U.S. troops out  .  .  .   Egypt doesn’t know what it wants  .  .  .  Everyone is afraid of Korea and Iran  .  .  .  Small businessman can’t sell as cheap as Wally World  .  .  .  Large scale farming is unsustainable, but home gardeners are still dorky  .  .  .   Someone semi-important said something nasty about someone very important; apology in the mail  .  .  .  Citizens wonder if freedom of the press means truth in the press  .  .  .  Electricity bill to increase by 3 percent  .  .  .  Postage stamps going up  .  .  .  Company downsizing employees; remaining workers to work twice as hard  .  .  .

And on the very, very local news:  My puppy peed on the floor.  What a surprise!!!

Moods and other Strange Things

Wait! I want'a check my Blog one more time.

At the beginning of last week or maybe even before that, a strange shadow crossed over my psyche.  Call it Blogging Malaise.  I had a couple of posts started but said, ‘Oh, never mind, I’ll just read.’

Many people try to analyze their moods, but I just ride them out.  I mean, ha-hum, I am an artist and woman, so who wants to wade into that quagmire???  Everything passes eventually.

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Break that stuff up for me

Do you tag surf?  Yeah, me too.  It can be fun.  It can be dangerous too, bumping into crazies.  One lady got all upset with me the other day because I said:  Since I do not own any goats or cows, I want to get rid of most of the grass in my yard.

I’m an unrepentant Grass Killer, apparently.  Gasp!   Kook-a-roo naturalist.  It’s a good thing I didn’t tell her that I kill fire ants too.

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The Big Plan

Parent:  What do you want to be when you grow up?

Kid:  A writer.

Parent:  Humph!  What’s your backup plan?

Kid:  A famous blogger.

Parent:  No, no, I mean how are your going to make money?

Kid:  A series of low-level, intermediate jobs that offer adventure, excitement and research opportunities.

Parent:  I see.  You mean… like the job you have now bagging merchandize at the Super Center?

Kid:  Hey, there are some really interesting characters coming through Wally World.

Parent:  I think that joining the police force, the military or even the merchant marines would offer more background for you.

Kid:  Capitalism.  Everything’s capitalism with you.  You don’t understand art.

Kid:  By the way, my girlfriend’s pregnant.

Something about Wednesdays

Do you wake up some mornings and can’t wait until the house is swept clear of people and distractions?  Does the itch to write drive you crazy?  Do you chew on your pencil and scratch down notes until the moment of solitude arrives?  Is there a sense of excitement?  Do you find it hard to speak, because all your thoughts have turned inward?  Are you systematically plotting against company, obligations and extraneous chores on this day?  Does the real world take on tones of grey?  Have your characters been whispering in your ear all morning?  Has a new subplot jumped into your mind?  Are you already wondering how your hero will react to this evil plan?

Yes?

Well, it must be Wednesday.