More trouble in the Middle East . . . Stock Market goes up and down . . . Congress can’t agree . . . Climate warming continues . . . Athlete fails drug test . . . Movie star makes a fool of himself . . . Investors loose their shirts and pants on Ponzi scheme . . . Food prices dig deeper into the consumer pocket . . . Euro in deep shit . . . Company issues recall of product . . . Bookstore closes . . . Cell phone store opens . . . U.S. borrows more money from China . . . China needs U.S. to consume imported items . . . Rich get richer . . . Poor get poorer . . . Housing market slumps . . . Crazy dude kills family . . . Homeless need homes . . . Senator has girlfriend; wife shocked but supportive . . . Dog alerts family to fire . . . Store stick-up . . . Thieves steal copper . . . Americans are too fat . . . Teens can’t read, write, or multiply . . . Fast food is bad . . . Smoking will kill ‘ya . . . Doctor accused of Medicare fraud . . . Divorce rate highest ever in history . . . Gas rates expect to rise during the holidays . . . Population down in developed countries by micro points and up in undeveloped countries . . . New driver runs off road . . . Trucker falls asleep at wheel . . . Airplanes are falling apart . . . Feds cut interest rate . . . Bank closes . . . Iraq wants U.S. troops to stay . . . Iraq wants U.S. troops out . . . Egypt doesn’t know what it wants . . . Everyone is afraid of Korea and Iran . . . Small businessman can’t sell as cheap as Wally World . . . Large scale farming is unsustainable, but home gardeners are still dorky . . . Someone semi-important said something nasty about someone very important; apology in the mail . . . Citizens wonder if freedom of the press means truth in the press . . . Electricity bill to increase by 3 percent . . . Postage stamps going up . . . Company downsizing employees; remaining workers to work twice as hard . . .
And on the very, very local news: My puppy peed on the floor. What a surprise!!!