Read these two excerpts and tell me which one you like better…

This one, a mishmash of sentences as they occurred to the writer (me):

Early morning light crept across the dirt floor.  When would they come for him? What monstrous hour would be his time? Steve watched a spider build its web between the two metal bars of his cot. He noted the beads of dew on the web without really seeing them, without seeing the spider or its red belly, without caring about a potential bite from its venomous fangs.  Down the hall, keys rattled on a heavy chain, a door clanked and a prisoner whined something unintelligible.  Somewhere, within the compound but farther away, two other men laughed.  It was not the sound of two men sharing a joke.  Steve squatted on the ground, pulling his legs up until even his toes were covered by the darkness.

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